Pushed Back - A change of Heart

The hardest part of getting this surgery for many people is getting insurance to cover the price of the surgery. I didn’t have any problem in this regard; the hardest part for me was getting the tests done, just because there were so many, and getting to the hospital for the surgery. I had my surgery scheduled for during my school semester, but had a change of heart when I learned that my husband was cheating on me. I lost some weight during that process because I was so depressed, and therefore thought that maybe I didn’t need to get the surgery, I was doing so well on my own. The weight loss didn’t last very long, that didn’t help anything. I could barely function in school as it was and realized that I simply had to change my surgery date. I wasn’t able to focus, I was distracted, and knew that if I missed school because of my surgery that would only make things worse.

After a lot of crying and stress, I finally came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t do it. I postponed the surgery, lost a little more weight, and then slowly gained it all back as I started to feel better about myself in regards to pending divorce. There were a lot of different people who all felt differently about my decision, to postpone, cancel and reschedule my surgery. My dad didn’t see why I was postponing, my mom, as well as a few friends and other family members didn’t see why I was doing it at all. Thankfully there was one person who I felt was truly looking out for me, her voice was the voice of reason.

Tammy, my mother-in-law, called me one day, and was asking me about the surgery. I told her how I couldn’t deal with it, and that I postponed it because of everything that was going on, and that I was seriously considering not getting it at all. She, as always, was only worried about me, and what would make me happy. She had no other motivation behind her opinion, like many other people. She said that she understood why I postponed it, and that she was happy that I was losing weight on my own. She said that she also lost a ton of weight during her divorce. She knew how much I wanted the surgery, and that I thought it would make me happier, and she encouraged me to continue with my plans, and that all that matter was that it was what I wanted and that it made me happy. She said she would love me no matter what I did, if I got the surgery, if I didn’t, if I divorced her son, if I didn’t. I knew she was the one opinion that mattered the most to me, because she is a large woman, who has had a cheating husband, and knew everything that I was going through, and still after all the shit I’ve put her son through since I found out that he was cheating, still tells me very often that she loves me and supports me in all that I do.

My decision was made, and my surgery date scheduled.

“I was just calling to see how you’re doing. I hope you’re doing amazing and everything is great, because that would be the perfect revenge” ~Tammy (in regards to my husband)